Five Year-Olds are Awesome

Pirateboy comes up with the best comments on life.

Tonight, we were at my folks' house for dinner and he asked his Dad to get him some cheese and ketchup for his bread. Something in his tone must have been a bit demanding, because my Mom gave him a look. Here's the rest of the conversation:

Pirateboy: "What? I am being SUPPORTIVE."
(My Mom chokes on suppressed laughter)
I manage to keep a straight face: "You're being supportive?"
Pirateboy: "Yeah...I'm SUPPORTING CHEESE and KETCHUP."

***

He also had some commentary on Pirates of the Caribbean II: specifically the part when Jack Sparrow is on the Cannibal Island.

He turns, just before the cannibals come out: "Check this out. Trust me, you do not want to go there for dinner."
Me: "No?"
Pirateboy: "No. Because you might BE dinner."

***

Or the best, Thammuz and I are driving home from dinner out with the kids in the backseat. As usual, we are chatting about our day.
Pirateboy: "Daddy, I think we might need to go to the doctor."
Thammus: "Oh? Why?"
Pirateboy: "Because I'm sick of hearing you guys talk!"

Yeah, it was kind of rude, but it's hard to discipline when you are laughing that hard.

***

It's not as funny in writing because I can't write his deadpan voice for all these comments, but he is freakin' hysterical.